During the reign of Queen Victoria in Great Britain, it was common practice that people would usually die in their homes surrounded by their family and friends. They would remain in their home until the day of their burial. This was before medical death certificates were introduced so a person would need to view a body to confirm the identity and to touch the body to confirm they were in fact dead. Children too had to share a house with a dead body, and in some cases share a bed with a deceased brother or sister as they were not moved until the day of burial.
Funeral processions through the streets were quite the sight and more elaborate for those with more money and social status. No matter what class a family was from, it was a wish of most families to secure a decent burial plot and hold a ceremony for the deceased even if it meant the family would have to live through financial stress. They did not want the disgrace of having to bury a family member in a 'pauper's grave'. This was a grave with no headstone and no ceremony (funeral).
After the death of Prince Albert in 1861, Queen Victoria went into a period of deep mourning for the rest of her life. Following this example, it became almost a custom for families to go through a formal mourning process. The period of mourning depended on your relationship to the deceased and what your sex was. Men mourned differently to women.
image: Hearthside House Museum
In the home of the deceased, people took certain precautions after the death of a family member so that 'they weren't next' so to speak. As a form of superstition, the following commonly took place:
If several deaths within the family occurred in a short span of time, anyone who entered the house had to wear a ribbon of black crepe to stop the bad luck from spreading any further. This included animals including chickens.
When the body was removed from the house, it was taken out head first so that it would be unable to call for others to follow it.
There was also the concern of someone being unknowingly buried alive so safety coffins were made which were constructed with a string that led from the coffin to the headstone where the bell was. If someone 'awoke' buried alive, they could ring the bell hence the term 'saved by the bell'
Formal attire was a way for a family to express their inner feelings. There were certain rules as to who wore what and for how long. It was outlined in popular manuals which were staple items of a Victorian housewife to refer to so that custom was properly followed. Clothes were generally black and expressed the deepest period of mourning. Women would wear black dresses trimmed with crepe. After a certain period, the crepe could be removed. They also had specific hair combs, headpieces, hats, veils, gloves, and purses. It was a whole ensemble. Jewellery was limited and often contained a lock of hair of the deceased. Men only had to wear dark suits with black gloves, hatbands, and cravats. Children were not expected to wear mourning clothes.
A widow was expected to be in full mourning for at least 2 years. She was expected to isolate herself from society and express grief for the full period of mourning. The loss of children or parents was a period of 1 year, with grandparents and siblings 6 months, aunts and uncles 2 months, great aunts and uncles 6 weeks, and first cousins 4 weeks.
It was considered bad luck to recycle mourning clothes for another death. This meant a whole new wardrobe each time someone passed. It was a very costly process to mourn a loved one.
As a way to honour a loved one and have a physical memory of them, middle to upper-class families would have portraits painted of the deceased. Once photography was introduced, it became a more affordable option and post mortem photography became the norm. A lot of children sadly died of disease during these times and had never had a photograph taken, so this was a way the family could keep their memory alive. One of the problems with post mortem photography was the fact that you were dealing with a lifeless body. Head clamps and posing stands were created. People were put in positions and family members would pose with them in family portraits. Sometimes, the pupils of the eyes were painted black and rosy cheeks were painted on to give a more life-like appearance.
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